Bashful-Baby-Bear

Try to speak but the insecurity chokes me up like a vile poison drowning me in wavering thoughts, keeping my real feelings at bay Never can I say what I really want to the more I try, the more i'm suffocated by this.. poison keeps me in check, paralyzes me, the poison always takes hold. ..no matter how hard I resist the poison..always wins

I've never felt so empty I've never felt so alone So cold, so sad So lonely.. Then, you come around Your gentle hand in mine, But it's all just a dream.. I've never felt so empty. It's been a year now, Since I've had the embrace of someone who truly liked me, for me. I've never felt so alone.. Yet, the illusion is so beautiful. I want to forget, and let it all be real, If even for a little while. Reality Hits like a thousand storms.. I've never felt so cold.. Reality is crushing, Reality is loud. Reality is sad, Is reality bad? Bad, or just bad for me? I must be crazy to think this way But, I do. I do, I do, I do I've never felt so sad.

I"m pretty She's beautiful I'm nice She's kind hearted I'm funny She's hysterical I'm smart She's a genius. Everything I am, everything I do She does better. The feeling of unworthiness consumes me Taking my heart and soul along with it. I try to run I try to hide from it But one way or another, it always finds it's way back. I gave in I gave in I feel cold, helpless, alone. I won't tell anyone, their usually sheltering, comforting words bore me. "You'll get your  chance one day!"   I don't want to wait for 'one day' I want 'one day' to be today. I don't know what to do what do I do? WHAT DO I DO?! I hate this feeling so. I don't want

There's that moment where you can feel everything falling apart. Everything you hold dear, slipping away from you, and there's no way for you to stop it. It's so heart crushing, you can't quite process anything else. Those screams, words, rejections, replaying in your head, and you start to lose yourself in the inevitable insanity of it all

Everyone says he's changed, but I can't say the same they say he used to be "The sweetest guy in the world". But he still is the sweetest guy in the world. I don't know if other people don't see it, because it seems like he tries to hide it, but I see it all the time. He Encourages me and picks me up when I am down.He always knows what to say in every situation,and he definitely knows how to have fun. He's not afraid to stand for what's right, and he sticks up for his friends, for me. I don't know about everyone else, but to me, he's the most extraordinary guy I've ever met. His Brown eyes remind me of Autumn, so sweet and comforting. H

The difference between missing you, and missing the memories I miss you. remember when we went swimming and the ditch? or made signs at your house and got over 100 honks? When your mom left us alone in the house for the first time and you lit your hand on fire. And when we played Slender and you freaked out. Or, when your cousin came over and danced like a stripper. Those were great Times. I remember when you went through your rough times. When your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend, and you started cutting yourself for the first time... You carved 'I Hate Him' into your arm and carved things like 'Hurt' and 'Hate' into your leg

Lonely Or Adored? Adored. It feels so great to be loved so much. Everyone so caring and thoughtful. But slowly,  they seem to change. They don't care, they only want to drain me, and take things from me. They smother me and overwhelm me with stress. They say they want the best for us, but don't even care, they only want things for themselves. They have turned into these demons, and my old friends, are now only figments of my mind.

It's been a long time since I've felt this way. contemplating death, actually listening to the voices inside my head, listening to everyone else, being afraid, being scared to be anything but numb, afraid if i ever open up, trust, or anything of that sort something bad will happen again...or worse, I,I, I don't want to be in this situation, with all the bullshit, and pain that no one even knows about, I just wish I could escape....

It's so frustrating to have people say it's so hard to hide their depression and you tell them "it's easy, I do it everyday..." and they just keep talking about themselves.... Can't they see you're going through so much shit too right now? you cry out to them constantly but they never listen. You feel that their so blind, but what can you do? to tell them would be rude, to yell and blow a fuse would stupid and both of those options would be idiotic and immature. They yell at us about how their lives are sooo horrible when you bottle up your guilt, and your pain, and your anger and depression and your insanity and everything else and they don'